ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
