It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
