her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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