woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize