This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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