Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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