i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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