i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
