my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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