hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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