HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
