Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
