So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
