I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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