My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I believe in your delicious
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
