she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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