There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
