The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
