FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
