Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
