when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
