I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
