At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize
