Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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