Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
