this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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