I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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