I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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