How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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