I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
