I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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