Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
