I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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