things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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