i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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