I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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