and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
