I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wear drunk well.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
