what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish you could order shots online.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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