Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
