Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa

  (281): View more from Texas

  what did you steal

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.

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  (832): We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa (281): what did you steal (832): frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list. http://tfl.nu/gckp
  Replies (10) Good night (2236) Bad night (923)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No stitches, just platelets and will power

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  (215): No stitches, just platelets and will power http://tfl.nu/pdnf
  Replies (6) Good night (3119) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

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  (647): Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream. http://tfl.nu/8fzb
  Replies (5) Good night (6111) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

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  (618): We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him. http://tfl.nu/xg0w
  Replies (23) Good night (10724) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (+62): View more from

  This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

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  (+62): This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country. http://tfl.nu/rdix
  Replies (50) Good night (1584) Bad night (4428)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.

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  (770): Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out. http://tfl.nu/a31o
  Replies (12) Good night (5130) Bad night (947)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.

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  (612): Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home. http://tfl.nu/ms67
  Replies (3) Good night (1922) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.

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  (302): Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one. http://tfl.nu/7sz8
  Replies (9) Good night (2349) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...

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  (843): he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house... http://tfl.nu/3q6f
  Replies (6) Good night (1999) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.

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  (770): All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life. http://tfl.nu/y2ti
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.

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  (505): I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles. http://tfl.nu/rqwc
  Replies (4) Good night (1402) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.

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  (970): A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is. http://tfl.nu/20fb
  Replies (2) Good night (1073) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.

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  (248): We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management. http://tfl.nu/hzvj
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can't find our DD

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.

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  (919): Can't find our DD (1-919): He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door. http://tfl.nu/0qwm
  Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"

  (682): View more from Texas

  God please dont post that to facebook.

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  (817): you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe" (682): God please dont post that to facebook. http://tfl.nu/pwe8
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (497)

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