she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Randomize
