Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.