Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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  (403): The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention." http://tfl.nu/toh6
  Replies (15) Good night (2621) Bad night (797)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...

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  (443): ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads... http://tfl.nu/avzw
  Replies (38) Good night (981) Bad night (14955)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.

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  (813): Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get. http://tfl.nu/c3cp
  Replies (10) Good night (4904) Bad night (974)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

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  (940): Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever. http://tfl.nu/989r
  Replies (18) Good night (5849) Bad night (1861)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.

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  (646): Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation. http://tfl.nu/0p0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1110) Bad night (3047)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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  (610): The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/sorz
  Replies (3) Good night (3574) Bad night (1319)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.

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  (717): She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/4m88
  Replies (7) Good night (2729) Bad night (990)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.

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  (318): That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot. http://tfl.nu/7dw2
  Replies (12) Good night (2163) Bad night (1156)
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  (424): View more from California

  You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.

  (1-424): View more from California

  The hell is wrong with me

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  (424): You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks. (1-424): The hell is wrong with me http://tfl.nu/smgq
  Replies (4) Good night (1342) Bad night (793)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.

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  (616): i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget. http://tfl.nu/97ka
  Replies (7) Good night (1644) Bad night (600)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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  (774): I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus http://tfl.nu/kps3
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (852)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.

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  (337): plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock. http://tfl.nu/69tv
  Replies (8) Good night (735) Bad night (1353)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto

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  (314): He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto http://tfl.nu/i261
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (695)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.

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  (425): When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately. http://tfl.nu/qs87
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (253)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.

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  (302): so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it. http://tfl.nu/mise
  Replies (4) Good night (528) Bad night (127)

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