I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.