Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize