Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
