Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
COCAINE IS GR8
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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