Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
