I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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