That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
