If i come over, it means nothing
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
