More tranny stories later!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
