gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
