she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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