I hate your face
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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