I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
