I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
