Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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