The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
