Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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