My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
