Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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